Lessons from a Father.....Abba

I was just talking with a dear friend recently who has gone through so much as of late.  She is physically, emotionally and spiritually drained.  I can relate because my health has been tugging at me and causing me to struggle a bit and when that happens, I just don't see things clearly.  I have a saying, "When we do not see things clearly we are seeing through, 'pop bottled' glasses," which distort our vision.  Renee Swope in A Confident Heart (page 217), discusses how we intake memories either through God's promises or through our insecurities.  I connect to this because I believe that is exactly what we do when we look through our "pop bottled" glasses. We see life through our insecurities, not through God's promises.

One of my insecurities is opening up and sharing with others. I love to listen and help others, but I am not big on sharing. :) God has done wonders in my life, and those near and dear to me only know the very tip of the iceberg. But I have come to realize that if I don't share the wonders that God has done in my life, then I am in essence, not sharing the glory God. So today I am taking a leap of faith and pulling back the curtains on a recent prayer session.  This is one prayer session, 3 topics.  I share with the Lord my feelings and He responds.  I am in no way saying that God spoke out loud to me, but the words in italics, are the words my Lord impressed upon my heart.

Background:

My relationship with a long-time friend had been struggling.  I felt like I had proven myself as a good friend, loyal, caring; yet, that was not how I felt I was being treated. So I was going to the Lord to ask if I was misreading our interactions because of my own insecurities. What I did know, was that I was allowing it to consume me. Listen in......

I don't understand....I try so hard to be a good friend. I feel like I have been there for her. I have listened to her, offered advice when needed, been there when she needed someone to reach out to. If I messed up then just tell me! Why won't she offer me grace? Can she not see that my is heart is good and what I do, I do out of love and not for harm? 

God:  I see you.

Immediately I knew, God knows my heart. :)  It is important for us as Christians to give grace to each other, as Christ gives us grace, but it is just as important to have our focus on God, not on earth. Because a focus on earth will deceive us, while a focus on God's promises will never let us down. God sees us and He knows our hearts.  Let us rest in that.

So I did ....... for about a minute. :) I started to feel guilty for not being focused on God in the first place. You know what that feels like, right? (Oh what we do to ourselves...) And I started feeling unworthy of being so loved, of being given so much grace. So I tell God that. Sharing my feelings brings up a childhood memory which I also share with him. Listen in......

Lord, I don't feel worthy of your grace and mercy. Have I not disappointed you?..........Do you remember the day that my Dad said, "Your momma loves you so much she would die for you; I don't know that I would." I don't even think he meant it like it came out, because I know he loves me. I have no doubt of that. But I don’t think he realized just how much that statement affected me....... 

God: I ALREADY died for you.

I know my dad loves me, he tells me so, and the Lord assured me of that in our discussion. That was never his point.  He was referencing the amount of love that my Momma had for me. I was without question, her BABY! :) But I share that glimpse of my prayer because of the magnitude of what God impressed on my heart: I already died for you. For all of us who beat ourselves up, let us eliminate all the lies we replay over and over in our minds and replace them with the loving words of our Savior, I love you so much, I ALREADY died for you!  Doesn't that give you chills?

I talk a lot during my time with God, but I am coming to a close for this blog. :) I have one last lesson I wanted to share with you. Listen in.....

That discussion with my Dad had an impact on me as I was growing up.  I always set goals and I achieved them. I always wanted to make him proud.  They say that we apply how we think about our earthly Dad to you Lord. I know that is true.  Whenever I feel I have disappointed you, I try to "hide." (internal laughter)  I have a hard time thinking of you as Abba, because I always feel I have disappointed you in some way......

God: When you were baptized, the heavens opened and I said, "I am well pleased." That's never changed. I love you..unconditionally.

After that day, something changed in me.  Previously, I looked at God as a disciplinarian and that is how I approached Him. Because of my own pride, I constantly had a fear that I was disappointing Him. I love being "IN" prayer, I just didn't want to go “TO” prayer, because I guess I was afraid of what He was going to say.  But that day, that all stopped for me.  His promises became real for me, not just words on a page: God sees me.....He has already died for me.....He is pleased with me.  These promises are a given.  We don't have to contemplate them or try to "earn" them. For me, that day, my LORD taught me a lesson; His Word is truth for all, including me. :) That day, my Father the disciplinarian, also became my Abba, the one who loves me unconditionally. Not because of WHO I am or WHAT I do, but because of WHOSE I am.

As I said before, sharing is not easy for me. And sharing my private moments with God, well that ranks up there on the richter scale. But I did it because I know your situations/relationships are not the same as mine, but these are powerful truths to share. And I know, that there are other people out there right now who are struggling. Maybe you feel you should be offered grace, God sees you. Perhaps you are the one who needs to repent; asking for forgiveness. God is waiting with a loving heart and open arms. He loves you unconditionally.

Have you had something happen in your past that has effected your relationship with God? Do you feel unworthy because of what you have done?  Are you scared of what God might say to you?  No matter what your struggle is, go to the God who loved you enough to die for you. He is waiting for you not to condemn you, but to comfort you. Let Him give you comfort and rest.

To all who have a reason to go before the Lord, and that means everyone.  :) Go Boldly!!  If you haven't because of time.  Make the time.  If you haven’t because of fear of what he might say.....he is your Father, he loves you and he will comfort you.  Try it, you will be amazed.  I challenge everyone who reads this blog to sit with the Lord. Ask him to speak to you. Anticipate and listen for a response. Be patient and know He is God.  That breeze, it may be Him. That flash from the past in your mind that too could be Him.  That calm, indescribable peace, that may be the Lord as well.  Give it a shot.

I challenge you to Go Boldly and try. Have you had your own special experience with God? I would love to hear about it. Please comment below or if it is personal you can contact me via email.  Let's take a leap of faith and share our experiences, lifting each other up in the name of our Lord!! 

Scriptures referenced: Gen 16:13, 1 Pet 3:13, Mat 3:13-17, John 3:16, Rom 8:38-39